Countdown to banding day

Friday, October 3, 2008

Yes you make me feel like a natural women.....grrrrrrrrr

Oh boy did I get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I swear to God almighty that i could have ripped off someones head and shat down their necks and then made coffee to celebrate....except that there was no freaking milk in the house. See this is the thing that gets me. During the week I don't eat breakfast or lunch at home. I eat at work so on the weekends I get really narky when there is no milk or bread because it shits me to tears that the people in the house that do imbibe in those essentials don't either a. tell me to pick some up or b. buy some themselves. GGRRRRR!!!!!!

Now before you get all pedantic on my ass I know it isn't officially the weekend yet but I am now on holidays for a week and today was my first day of my holidays so I wanted some breakie and low and behold no milk. This also meant no coffee. I not person with no coffee. No function.

Plus my girls have been at home with their dad for a week so they were on a serious pay back mission. Lets annoy the crap out of mum today. At one point in time I walked into the kitchen and there was grated cheese all over the floor.They had made themselves lunch made a mess and just left it. It was all I could do not to ring DOCS myself and tell them to come save my girls before their mother cracked it.

So the reason for this anger outburst...hmmm lets look at it. I woke up with a serious drug hang over. I had a migraine for 2 days and last night finally took some mersyndol to try and get rid of it. The problem was I got woken up to early and didn't have time to sleep it off, hence the hangover. Reason a for cranky bitchfest.

Reason B would be hormones...Seriously homicidal maniac has moved in. Beware. I read something once an email joke or something that says something like "You know your scary when you swing you feet out of bed in the morning and Satan shudders and says "Oh No she is awake"

Well this morning Satan not only shuddered he shit himself. Poor bastard.

I seem to be getting really bad PMT over the last couple of months only for a day or so. I used to be able to recognise it when I was being bitchy and say "Oh it must be PMT" and then it would calm down. Now I don't know whether I just used to eat to suppress it and that's why I could control it which of course means now once I recognise it I can't do anything about it which just annoys me more and well you know the rest.

Another reason could be I realised something fairly deep about myself yesterday. I don't deal well with conflict. I come across very up for a fight but I think I do that so people don't want to take me on. Really I am shit scared of conflict so when a situation arises where I have to do battle I don't cope very well. Which is what has happened at work the last couple of days. Admitting that to myself was fairly big but bringing it home and taking it out on my family was not cool. Not cool at all.

So they are my reasons, not trying to justify just explain.

On the band front I puke nearly everyday You would think that I would get the message by now to slow the hell down and not eat big chunks but apparently I am not very bright.

My long suffering but very patient husband advises me that I have eaten this way for 35 years and it may take awhile to relearn new ways. Lets see if this old dog can learn some new tricks. If not I may as well take up humping legs and dragging my arse along the carpet.

And with that I bid you adieu


Cat McKenzie said...

ROTFLMFAO. OH.MY.GOD. This is about the funniest thing I have ever read...not what happened to you, but the way you tell it. I LOVE the way you write.

I am SO glad to know that I am not the only person on the planet who feels like this some days. You could have been writing FOR me.

Well, all I can say is 1. Enjoy your holiday; and 2. Don't worry because eventually you will learn new tricks. But in the meantime just be good to yourself and know that there are many of us who not only empathise, but who are also living a similar life (and next time I go to the fridge and find no milk, I'll be thinking of you and laughing instead of looking for someone to stake through the heart with a stick).


Nola said...

That was great! he, he....I can relate to the drug hangover...take the same..but for my back. It is like having a "fake" sleep and then I just wake up feeling like shit and with murderous tendencies! I don't have the hormone thing...mine come in a packet, so I pretty much flatline these days! Hope you are feeling a smidge better today!!!

Diz said...

Good Lord you crack me up. I know you had a bad day, but you provided me laughter, which I so desperately needed right now. So eff Satan Girl! Satan is "your" bitch...not the other way around!!! I get seriously pissed if I don't have milk for my coffee/tea. If it gets low, I make sure to get some. My family has dealt with the wrath of Diz.