June 12th 2008
So was watching Oprah yesterday. Yes I am fan. I am good with it.
Maria Shriver was on talking about her life and how she turned around at 51 and didn't know what she wanted to be when she grew up.
Holy Crap thats me.
Not so much the what do I want to be but the who do I want to be.
I want to be okay but what does that mean.
This lapbanding mission that I am on is part of it. I know that in my deepest wisdomy bits. I can feel the universe showing me that I am on the right path. It has made it LOUD and CLEAR that this is the right plan for now.
I can feel my body imploding on itself. It is not a happy body right now. There is a lot of pain and I am not coping real well with it. I wake up in the morning more tired than what I felt before I went to bed.
So I am over it....and yet here I am trying to stay in the moment connect with this moment and try to find the lesson and the message of this moment. I know there is a deep compassionate message that I have for myself locked inside me but all I know is the thin me is screaming, GET OFF ME YOU ARE CRUSHING ME...and the fat me is too busy cruching chips to hear.
Countdown to banding day
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1 comment:
Hey Claire,
Another very honest post and I can so appreciate what you and Maria Shriver are feeling. I still don't know what/who I want to be when I grow up, but I'm starting to think I just want to be me. Now if only I could figure out what THAT means.
Just be really good to yourself while you go through all these emotions. I think the things you are feeling are really normal pre-banding - it's that whole life re-evaluation thing.
But I just want to say that I have this feeling that whoever or whatever you end up deciding you want to be, it will be FABULOUS! And I'm looking forward to watching you on your journey.
Cat
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